Happiness

Great post Suzie!

My day yesterday was awesome! I got jadie off to school, jogged for a half hour (2 miles, 17 minute mile) and then went to the Studio, putzed around (organized a bit) and then wrote two of the 6 columns I want to pitch to the Pink Papers. I also applied for 3 or 4 jobs on line so the wheels are set in motion. I am going to be open to any and all possibilities, I want this to be an experiment of how open I can be. I think we were raised to be very cautious, to not stand out. To keep a low profile and be "lucky" for what we get. I'm busting up that old routine. I want to be different, I want to explore everything and not be held back by assholes who think they know better.

Here's a really weird thing - the folks who have treated me horribly at work are the ones that have pushed me to do different things, to change, to get out of dodge. So I might have set up the pattern, that in order for me to take the next step I need an asshole to push me. I'm going to change that pattern too!

The happiness project sounds awesome. I think you and I are happy by default, versus others that are not. I think that's another issue we face at work and with friends and stuff. I've had people in my life ask me "how can you always be so happy?" and I think people like my current boss, have NO clue how to be happy. So we are the weird ones, the ones to be poked, to be prodded into miserable moods. The nasty people test us by trying to ruin our happiness. To prove that we are fakers, and confirm their unhappiness. F#$K them!

My big struggle is that I would never tell anyone they suck, and yet I've had some bosses do that to me. No matter how happy I am, or confident I am in my abilities that type of feedback does impact me. I know there is always room for improvement so when I get that type of feedback I figure some element of it is true. Where's the balance? I don't know. A jerk is a jerk, and I suppose when feedback paralyzes you (because it's not balanced) that's a bad thing. If folks have issues with what we do, then they can criticize but more importantly, they need to provide guidance and some input on how to improve/make things better. Otherwise it is completely unhealthy and unfair. How can you meet expectations when no guidance is given. YUCK.

So I guess for now I've got to deal with the unpleasantness of my work situation, which takes a TON of energy and then build my life outside of the "pit" to be large and beautiful and fun. My studio ROCKS and has such a FANTASTIC vibe to it, I LOVE being there.

I ordered a bunch of boxes that I'm going to paint, I have two stools that I'm going to paint and I'm going to buy a small cabinet and paint that too. Once that stuff is done I'm going to go after two other shops to carry my art. I also have pulled together my marketing plan. I'm gonna get a mobile hot spot versus cable installed in my studio. The hot spot is portable and will allow me to connect to the Internet from anywhere.

Ok - so it's been all about me . . .what about you dear sister!!! Where are your goals, and yes you can write, you just wrote two awesome blog posts! what are your thoughts about living your life large and juicy!!! Want to write a column for the Pink Paper??? Lay it on me sister!!!

I love you very much and thank you for listening to my constant complaining :). You are an inspiration!!!